i looked at dads computer and apparently he was looking at job ads on craigslist and the only one clicked that turned purple said "GET PAID TO MASTURBATE"
We're friends. And when I drunkenly send u a pic of my left testicle i would appreciate a response.
I had a pretty decent weekend -- aside from dropping the baby on her head. That.. That I feel bad about.
i've got to stop sleeping with short guys. they always turn into stage 5 clingers
i just snorted adderall with my patient's rolled up EKG strip from our last clinical. nursing school has ruined me. thought you would appreciate this.
this is why ugly people need low self esteem. it stops them from doing shit like this.
Sat in the shower and reenacted the "Wiggle your big toe" scene from Kill Bill. THAT hungover.
I was to tired to jerk him off, so he made me hold it while he thrusted into my hand.
Just made a PowerPoint called "Reasons Why You Should Fuck Me" at his request. The sad thing is we've had sex before...
Carpeing THE FUCK out of that diem
And i'll likely end up sleeping in a bush wrapped up in my poncho
In other news: I massively over-caffeinated this morning. Everything is vibrating and I can SEE THROUGH TIME
*jedi mind trick* you want to go down on me
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
Chasing shots with airborne.. Gonna get rid of my sickness and my soberness.
Randomize
