Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
apparently it was the return of drunk burrito sex.
Honestly, it's not that easy picking a Saturday night outfit that can translate to Palm Sunday mass. Priorities.
Chicken wings don't come back up an through your nose as easily as you'd think
I'm not mad at you for letting me use my air mattress as a toilet, i'm mad at you for letting me lay back down on it.
i dont know how he's 22 and thinks emoticons will get him laid. lady boner just died.
How do you leave a condom wrapper under my mom's pillow...
This may not be the best moment to laugh, but I am.
is there any kind of "im boning my neighbor and he happens to be a manager at walmart" discount that our new relationship entitles me to??
I convinced a German girl that I was born while my mom was water skiing and I preceded to barefoot ski behind her via the umbilical cord...
If I'm not drunk and wearing a penguin hat by the time we are done opening Christmas presents then coming home for Christmas was a complete failure
Have you considered sword swallowing? Something about that bj tells me you could make a it a career.
I am googling "notable people who had syphilis"
I think I'm so comfortable in my sexual relationship because he mostly wants to see me naked with large plates of bacon tastefully placed upon my body
A world without bacon flavored condoms is not one I want to live in.
I don't know whether to cheer for the free bourbon, or cry from the screaming children.
Randomize
