Cut to me doing the walk of shame to work from a hotel.
It's like a choose-your-own-adventure. But the adventure is already chosen for you. And it sucks.
We need to start having sex underwater more often.
the liquor store owner came out from behind the counter and kissed my cheek when he saw that i am back for fall semester
We're past the whole "Did she just try to finger my ass?" Stage. Now it's encouraged.
I made my own utility belt like Batman. It has a cup holder for my beer, cell phone holder, a little pocket for condoms, and a sewing kit just in case.
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
I responded with "neat-o burrito" to his SEXT...he tried so hard and I just panicked.
Woke up on the floor with shoes on my hands...I'd say it was a success
I was so drunk last night I couldn't see faces, only from the shoulders down.
I woke up naked wrapped in a wolf blanket on the bathroom floor
I just gave them my two week notice. Now is the perfect time to fuck my boss's son
I think I may have just hit a new slutty low! ..... Just purchased the Costco pack of condoms... $9.99/48 pack = amazing deal! The judgement when I bust out the value pack = priceless!!!
he'll eat me out, but god forbid we double dip when sharing salsa
Randomize
