dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
just to let you know, don't open your linen closet for a while until i come over with a cleaning kit and geek squad
she just asked me to help her create a twitter page for edward cullen's hair.... seriously.
I WALKED myself out of breath. And I'm lost I'm a Tim Hortons parking lot. That's how hungover I am.
My tweets this weekend consisted of me telling every bar I went to that they were my favorite valentine. I've never felt like more of an alcoholic
yea but i missed the pot and poured the boiling water on my dick. shit hurts. aint nothin easy about that mac
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
IM GOING TO SIT ON YOUR FACE AND CHANT 'I BELIEVE THAT WE WILL WIN'
I just had sex on my kitchen counter. It's like the American dream
You should frame my arrest warrant.
I HAD TO TAKE A SHOT OF JAGER AND SOME REDBULL JUST TO SEE IF IT’LL MAKE MY MOUTH FEEL BETTER
Well the good news of being walked in on, my mom says your tits are pretty. Then she added that hers were like that once. Fml
I don't think you could pull off being mean.
How do you think I'm still single?
Everything is scary i hate being an adult i hate responsibility tell me a dick joke
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