8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
Riddle me this. What had unbelievable sex, and finally understands the meaning that things come better in pairs?
I hate you
worst. lesbian. ever. i'm not sure she knows a clit from a pencil eraser.
Just donated money to a kid for her softball team.
Obviously I'm trying to futher our next generation of lesbians. I may be hitting on her at the gay bar in ten years...
Then he told me I had the most beautiful looking vulva
I have discovered that there is nothing that a giant penis attached to a southern accent can't talk me into. yee-haw!
You're in a tuxedo, you can pee wherever you want.
I didn't have the heart to tell him that the reason my vagina was so "prelubricated" was because I had just had another gentleman caller an hour earlier. So, when he commented about how turned on I appeared, I just went with it.
I would have cried, probably tears of wine, but cried nonetheless.
I wanna come do a blessing for your apartment. And by that I mean I want to drink a lot of whiskey and watch ancient aliens in your apartment
Mom just told me I need to start having sex.
Oh dear. Sending much love.
Just send a machete.
So I think I've successful blown my foot off in a way that's going to make you call me an idiot.
The next time you invite me out to a bar full of cougars warn me first. I never felt like a piece of meat before.
Either it didn’t do much damage or I’ve lost all feeling in my asshole
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