I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
I just found out my birth date is Pick Your Poison Day. Goodbye, conscience, forever. I was born to live like this.
Naturally, I just peed all over the floor. Two guys in front of me looked at me, but i just shrugged. They won't remember either.
We ran out of wine so we are trying the absinthe you brought over from Spain like 3 years ago. Please call me at noon tomorrow. If we die, its your fault
I'm going to pound you from behind over a table at the bar while I pull your hair and call you a whore...please pass along that message to Rob
Wearing a french maid costume for Halloween sure did help me meet girls
Dude, they all thought you were gay.
Btw he dated my mom. You're Eskimo siblings with my mom. Good job.
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
We found you facedown on his couch in a pile of cheerios, with only one shoe on. Dude you said you were staying in last night.
Hooked up with a girl in the dorm laundry room tonight. And got invited to go to Vegas for free. That's how today's going.
You aren't truly friends with someone until you play drinking games via text at 8:30 in the morning.
You peed in a public fountain and then felt bad so you put dish soap in it; 4 ft tall bubbles.
Why are you barefoot at a strip club?
She told me to take deeps breaths and I said I said YOU FUCKING TAKE A BREATH CAROL IM SURE IF YOU WERE IN MY POSITION YOU WOULD HAVE OFFED YOURSELF ALREADY and she said my name is Becky 😂
Randomize
