Guess who has two thumbs, loves booze, and just dug half a handle of rumb out of a trash can in a freshmen dorm? This classy gentleman. Good day to you sir!
wake up i wanna do it froggy style
He kept saying 'your mouth is Amazing' even after I was on his dick.
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
He tried to give me a shoulder massage while i peed in the neighbors bushes to "make it more relaxing."... I let him... That drunk
Of course it was necessary for me to call the strip club and ask what their shower policy is. Smelled like she was wiping her ass with my eyebrows during that dollar dance.
I told him he was a man of science and that he should conduct experiments on my tits to see how they stay up. I need you to hold onto my larynx when I'm drunk.
And I'd make him talk dirty to me. In Forrest Gump's voice.
I CAME HOME WITH MY NIPPLES PEIRCED! WE WERE CAMPING. IN THE MOUNTIANS. I DONT EVEN REMEMBER IT AT ALL.
if I open my eyes, my head will explode. that hungover.
My mom was looking at curtains for me and sent pictures and I had to be like "not the Disney princess pink and purple, more like an acid trip"
You were visibly distraught that my boyfriend and I didn't have sex in your bed. You forced us to take your condoms.
You walked in on us hooking up, hugged me, high fived him and unhooked my bra.. You claimed to be helping
I want you to worship my cock.
That's not how you start a conversation.
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