Buhtt sex?
she sang that "this little piggy song" to my balls. and somehow made it work, with me only having two balls instead of five.
i just heard one Asian kid say to another, "i bet if i could get into Harvard i could get laid all the time, my brother lost his virginity the first night there."
She's like a coupon for free blow jobs. No purchase necessary.
Julian told me all the fish in his pond died and he didn't know when or how. I didn't have the heart to tell him he drunkenly peed in the pond on Saturday as everyone cheered him on.
You just kept mumbling, "Shit shit shit, the muffin man owes me money." Repeatedly.
your dad made us margaritas and breakfast on the morning. I think it's safe to say he relives his glory days through us
I need you to come over. Im crying, day drinking and working out simultaneously.
His reasoning for leaving the keys in the ignition of my car overnight with the top down in an open parking lot ? Too eager to have sex. The sex was not that good for him to do this twice....
Don't matter if she's straight, I'll get her. I'm not called The Transformer for nothing
he went to the bathroom at 5am only to come back and squeeze my boob before going back to sleep
He's nice to look at and knows the difference between your and you're. I win.
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
You better have a raging boner when I get to your house and it better be worth missing work in the morning.
You're just upset because I have cupcakes and boobs and you don't.
Randomize
