I don't smoke a lot but now and then I do. Weed and I are like still standing naked in a bathroom together deciding if we should blow one another or bolt for the exit. An awkward relationship.
I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
he kept doing his monologue, "if a vagina could talk."
I wish the ER had shaved that part of my head. It would be easier to show people my staples at the bar.
I just learned a new drink. Sloppy Ninja. Half Saki Half Nyquil
I'm never drinking again. I saw way more penises than I ever cared to see last night. And I've decided that I'm going to live in Scotland.
I need an explanation for both of these epiphanies.
I guess my vagina missed him because it called and left a 5 min. message. Color me impressed
It was 6am and he went immediately for the 69. WTF?? 6am is WAY to early for acrobatics.
I had my first "Damn Kids/When I Was That Age" rant at work today. We need to drink this feeling out of me. NOW.
Living alone for four weeks has given me unrealistic expectations of pantslessness.
Hold on I'll be right there, I can't find my arm.
Am I the only person in the world that does not give a shit about the avengers?
Put on my pants to go to work and discovered they had melted.
I want to disappear from this job like a fart in the wind.💨
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