You know, Peter Parker would not have been nearly as cool if he had gotten bitten by an ant.
Are you really this nice or are you just trying to get in my pants?
Both?
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
I have yet found the courage to put pants on. No judgement thursday led to no shower friday and now no pants saturday. God i miss college.
I gave her at least chlamydia. Maybe worse. She is also into chicks and loves taking naked pics. It's like the less I believe in Jesus, the more he rewards me.
I want to see boobs tonight. Like, real ones. Your ones.
I'm romantic.
Come on down you're the next contestant on "lets go drinking!"
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
So from zero to dumpster fire, how shitty do you feel this morning? I'm hovering somewhere around trainwreck.
I'm 80% sure I have pink eye. This is my penance for being a homewrecker.
You reached new levels of laziness. After we woke you up to take shots with us, you stayed in bed so you didn't have to move when you were drunk and sleepy
I will consider today a failure if my nipple isn't bitten at least 😂
Oh is THAT how we're gonna play mini golf
Trouble in the neighborhood - turns out my brother's summer lawn care gig also entailed banging three different MILFs and they just all found out about each other
Gotta pay for college somehow...
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