i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
I just don't understand how my upright asian catholic roommate is getting more than me.
the hot woman interviewing me is reading jokes off the back of laffy taffy.... I'm getting laid and possibly a job
We removed her tutu and her cape, so there's no risk of her strangling herself.
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
Mistake of the day: loudly discussing my gay hookups on the phone at the dmv in upstate NY... this must be what leprosy feels like
It's times like this I miss having my nipples pinched
I seriously don't understand how you keep getting laid.
Because I'm like the spider of false hope. I spin elaborate tales and snare them in my web of utter disappointment. They soon realize their mistake, but by then it's too late.
I think you are the only one slutty enough and evil enough for the job. Just go in and blue ball him. He broke my nose in Middle school. He deserves this.
Everyone here knows me as 'that chick who will most likely steal your girlfriend'. My 99% success rate tells me this name is acceptable.
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
She just kept roaring and saying Katy Perry had nothing on her. Wtf did she take?
I like being woken up by phone calls of you sabotaging marriages
No no no, work drunk and day drunk are totally different. I got drunk with a client and made a huge sale at 1pm. You are still in your PJs and jacking off.
Vagina status: the swelling is going down.
Randomize
