New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
GOING OUT OF BUSINESS: we're having a foreclosure party tonight...We'll also be raffling off a washer/dryer, microwave and a white tiger head.
when i tried to put the condom on he started screaming about how he didn't want his groceries bagged
I just wanted to clarify that I am not bisexual and had no intentions of ACTUALLY penetrating my roommate with a can of bugspray.
It's almost like he dry humped the last remaining bit of good person out of me.
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
And I would just like to take the time to say my boobs look great today.
I ended up naked with smirnoff caps on my nipples. Dignity is now a completely foreign concept to me.
Accidentally hit on the same girl twice at the bar, she give me her number both times though so I think its cool.
She said "oh yeah" like Hulk Hogan with the muscle flex and everything. Totally digging this chick
It wasnt until i started dancing that i realized i pissed myself dude. I dont think shes gonna call me back.
Good news: you're over the drunk crying life phase. Bad news: now you're handy and violent. You were groping me from behind in front of the guy you like, then you put me in a headlock and swept the leg.
Your brother just walked into my room, pissed drunk and butt naked, got into my bed and fell asleep. In knowing I am gay, you have one hour to deal with him before I do
Randomize
