I just made out with a guy for $7.
i feel like the prize bull at the rodeo. everybody got a ride, no one lasted more than 8 seconds and i'm pretty sure i kicked one of them in the ball sack
whats wrong with me. i have a coffee mug of wine in the library and i'm doing homework
Stuck behind a lady in her 70's purchasing a plastic handle of vodka and nothing else. She is writing a check. Hello future.
2am update: i think I'm in Mexico but I found a dennys. Everyone but this cute family of 4 is speaking Spanish. Cute family of 4 is helping me out.
There is literally a guy in my class with a gallon of water and a trophy.
i wanna meet her so much more now that I know she got toed in a hottub.
He broke hus nose arm jousting with the traffic cones... We need to make head shots illegal or get helmets or something
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
Totally forgot Mike has only one ball. Is it sad I'm excited to see it? Or shall I say the lack of it?
Well if you don't want to be kicked out before last call don't I would suggest stop drinking whiskey and don't call the giant bouncer with the neck tattoo "princess"
I feel like I should acknowledge that I see you as a human and not a ragdoll sex object
I didn't want to leave, I wanted to move into his ass
Sent. All. My. Texts. Like. This. Last. Night. Thank. You. Weed. Also. Had. A. Dream. About. A. Serial. Killer. That. Killed. Everyone. Except. Me. And.
Pretty sure my aunt hooked up with one of my brothers frat brothers at his graduation party
Randomize
