If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
we seriously had to hang a plastic bag on his ears so he could throw up right into it.
you're close to getting here right? Because if you're still not here and I have to get dressed to answer the door for the pizza guy, i'm tipping him $100 on your credit card to spite you
if your not going to answer your phone this is just going to be an embarrassment tomorrow
You were shirtless with a cowboy hat in 15 degree weather then u shotgunned a can of mixed vegetable Progresso soup
He said he was going to "rock my world". I wonder if he too has a false sense of confidence and accomplishment stemming from a complete lack of honesty from our own female counterparts.
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
It was like the Alcoholic Olympics...double fisting fifths with eight 40s in my backpack...running from the cops in stilettos. I will have bitchin' hamstrings come Monday.
he told me he was a Boston Bruins fan so I took his hat into the bathroom and peed in it...I've never been a prouder Ranger fan
Man I'll cab it I'll be sloshed by then. There's turtles involved
YOU WOULD BE SEEING ME. IN MY KITCHEN. BENDING OVER MY OVEN. MAKING YOU CAKE.
Wait, that's an option?
So apparently when I'm drunk and want water I pant like a dog and expect to have water given to me..
She told me she loves wine, but hates the mud butt the next day. Dude, way to much info on a second date.
Free stuff before I even put his balls in my mouth like wow great start
Did you make it home alright?
No I'm sitting under a tree by a cricket. He's alone crying out for someone to Fuck him. This guy gets me.
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