like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
I like waking up with a slight hangover cause I'm dehydrated and it makes me feel thinner.
I woke up hungover and opened my laptop to find that i had googled alcoholism again
My mom is helping me re-arrange my room to make New Year's more hook-up friendly
You challenged yourself to walk backwards all the way to the bar... And you did
I'm pretty sure I did the Macarena with a gay guy while shot gunning a beer
Ps this homeless dude just came in hotel bar w a sword sticking out his jumpsuit trying to buy a drink w a 3rd party check
I just almost said to a customer "P as in Pussy"
I can't relate, I like my boobs roaming free like a wild animal, and I occasionally let them devour small children
All I know is that I woke up with my pajamas on inside out in front of a bowl of watered down kd. Sitting up. I didn't even make it to bed.
I'm drunk, I'm covered in pizza, and I'm watching Jurassic Park. I feel like you'll get this. xx
It's Breast Cancer Awareness Month!!!! What random hook up should check my tata's this year?!?!
We found you walking up the on ramp to the highway carrying a 40 mph speed limit sign with no shoes on. Rough night?
It was terrible. I am sore from head to toe, neither of us got off, and we were at it for an hour and a half, I faked having a heart episode so we could stop. It worked.
She woke up, peed in the sink and then passed out again, it's only 2 in the afternoon
Randomize
