Did we have sex last night?
I think that was the general idea until I got you undressed and you puked on me.
I was just given a safe word. It's going it be an interesting night.
I just wanna go home eat some pizza rolls, get warm and jerk off, and it's only 845. This shit was supposed to make me see unicorns. Not cry
once you have herpes you dont really care what goes in your mouth anymore.
He bought me shots at the bar as his way of of paying me back for Plan B
The fact that he is from Canada is way more embarrassing than the fact that you met him on match.com
it doesn't matter, he's just a life support system for his dick
I dont care how drunk you were. Making a bet with MY husband at MY wedding that you could seal the deal before he could is ALWAYS inappropriate!
Real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch buck Rodgers in Tuesday.
Jesus Christ you're perfect.
I mean I kinda plunged vagina first into my last relationship
you're right. a strip only looks good in porn . mine just looks like a fucked up mullet
You asked for 4 things: your phone, your wallet, your keys and your denture. I stopped asking questions.
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
I think he's like Cher he's going to live forever but not as scary looking
he called her and asked for me. he wants to do dinner and a movie
her booty call wants to take you to dinner?
Randomize
