While sitting in bed naked eating ramen and watching the colbert report I realize why random sex happens.
i woke up under my mattress pad with him laying naked next to me and his wwjd bracelet on my nightstand.
nice, that's exactly what jesus would do.
Dude michael jackson died, guess he's not 'stayin aliveee' any longer.
Uh dude that wasn't a michael jackson song it was the BGs
he took his pants off right in front of me then just stood there so i went for his boxers and he said he was waiting till marriage
you're the best thing to happen to me. closely followed by learning to ejaculate, and drugs.
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
like a sex slave...but with a better dental insurance plan
you say it like running around in your thong wasted is a bad thing
It involved anal and pop rocks. Tell me how that could have ended well.
It's not a good night until someone eats a bagel covered in face mask thinking it's cream cheese
I woke up at 6am to a knock and a naked guy at my window.
Don't matter if she's straight, I'll get her. I'm not called The Transformer for nothing
Is it bad form to spend company money and place an ad in the paper because I wanna nail the sales girl?
That's why my boobs are so big, they're full of secrets.
Guess who just set half their backyard on fire.
Please tell me youre joking.
Nope. on the brightside though, im really gonna quit smoking this time.
Randomize
