You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
Anderson Cooper interviews Obama. It's like CNN is teasing and broadcasting my dream 3 way.
Not everyone can get ass. Some people are good at building rockets. You’re good at sleeping with many men. It’s an art.
You sprayed lemon pledge on your crotch because it was "dusty"
its family weekend so i'm givin my little bro a tour of everywhere ive thrown up on campus
When sleeping with someone new: should you hide the magnum condoms, or let him know what he has to live up to?
And I was the only one who felt it was dangerous to set the tv and blender on the ledge of the hot tub
Dont eat ANYTHING off the floor at Matt's house. He likes floor sex.
Girl on the bus just slammed her book shut, turned to me and said "I'm way to fucking high to be studying"
I just found a tail you can wear naked. Via a butt plug. Who ever said the internet was a good thing?
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
So another one of your girlfriends from middle school had a baby. Thank god you are gay, otherwise you would definitely be a dad by now.
Drinking Fireball means never having to say you're sorry. Unless its at you're arraignment.
I'm way too sober and people are way too heterosexual
Your bf is wearing nothing but a cape, I mean absolutely NOTHING but a cape. I know you said he looks like Thor but this is getting a bit ridiculous.
Randomize
