great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
how soon is too soon after the break-up to ask for my condoms back?
he was sending me dirty texts but i was watchin nickeloden and couldnt get into it
im ashamed your my cousin
Gay walks of shame are so much more Amy Winehouse than straight girls
The frequency that you give me blue balls couldn't be healthy.
My stomach literally has no contents left. Tequila cleanse=success.
How do I enter a double puke and rally into my calorie counter?
Of the three people getting wasted at this dance competition, im two of them
Happiness is having a 12 hour day thinking that there are only 2 beers in the fridge when you get home, but then finding 8. Fuck you Monday, this week I won.
He also wore a doorag last night so i had to swipe left.
on a scale of one to ten where does vomming from being hungover during a professionalism lecture fit
I'll start working on my manners when you stop using please and thank you in the bedroom.
You win. I am a lesbian who maybe slightly jaded. I didn't mean to throw the knife at you head.
Dude. If you guys end up really liking each other, the color of his pubes won't matter. I wouldn't break a sweat.
I was trying not to blow up your phone, but I'm so horny I think I might die
Randomize
