I want leopard sheets
haha sexcapades
thats the plan
grinding to god bless the USA? really?
shut up
He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
I wonder if Barack Obama has ever been this drunk.
You came back with puke all over your sweatshirt and started doing darth vader impressions
why is my clorox wipe dispenser full of tortillas?
You're the only person i know who can laugh and talk while puking
I may still return these pants. Depends how much they smell like alcohol by tmrw morning. I've already spilled once.
Heb just said, and I quote, "let's go to Who's On Third and fuck a fishbowl with our mouths. I am going to fuck this van." and then he humped a van.
He pointed at me, then leaned in and said "shes the best at blow jobs" then chris fist pumped him and said "dude, I know"
Turns out she left way earlier. So I'm stuck with this guy asking where he can score meth and if I'm really straight.
My mom just asked me about the teeth marks on my headboard..
I'm over being sad. I'm now onto thinking about all the ways in which he is a total fuckwaste
Uess honpr I rememebrt hEzS cuter
You'll have to translate that into sober in the morning.
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