i've counted 4 condom wrappers but only 3 condoms. not again.
"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
Seriously.......what do you have to do to get arrested in Vegas???
there really is only one way to give a PowerPoint presentation in your senior capstone class: still drunk.
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
Just put a sign on a baby carriage that says "all daddy wanted was a blowjob" might get fired.
This is absurd. I need a man. Or even a moderately-clean hobo will do at this point.
No. Her boobs are the one spot of warmth in my life right now and I will not let you take them from me.
Code red. She won't talk to me. Maybe it has something to do with her raccoon eyes. Perry said there was a brief moment of towel fighting until you passed out. Did you draw the turtle on my ass?
Are we sharing a room, or can I pack my vibrator?
Yes to both. We'll use the workout rotation from dorm life.
i just want a position where we can lock up like some sort of sexual megatron and go the whole night that way
I just fell in love with a beard, the guy it's attached to isn't great but I think I'm going to take one for the team
You can't die you're my only democrat family member
We took three cabs to get home, the first one dropped us off a block away, so we went back to the hotel and tried again
My freshman suitemate just walked into the kitchen to find my fuck buddy making chicken enchiladas without me anywhere to be found. Awkward or awesome?
Randomize
