Yep. About to get on pornhub to spill some Christmas cheer
she said, and i quote, "i want to black out with my rack out"
This hangover is way worse than all my relationships
my voice of reason is faarrr too drunk for me to listen.
Remember that crazy chick I've been ignoring and said I wouldn't bang her again? Can we start that again part today?
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
Now that I'm born again, I'm preserving my gift.
Your vagina isn't a White Elephant gift. You can't re-wrap it after it's already been given several times. That's white trash thinking.
So the bartender from Applebees totally looks like he would take his clothes off for $40
I like how you possess the gift that turns normal guys into strippers
Drinking, I should not. Got here I don't know. Still drunk, I am. At courtneys.
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
Btw...refried beans is a terrible thing to throw up.
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
My cat is watching me play with my new vibrator
burned my penis with a sauteed onion again.
Randomize
