Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
I woke up with spaghetti in my mouth
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
She told me I reminded her of the fair. And she wanted to deep fry my dick and eat it.
There's a girl at 7-11 apologizing for her behavior and asking if she can get her shoes back.
Wow, haven't had to deal with the 'stoned at the dinner table' scenario in a while
the awesomeness of being snowed in wore off after we ran out of beer and we realized we really didnt want to be stuck with everyone.
there are ass prints on the hood of my car.
I told her we could be friends and she said the last time i told her that we had sex behind a bar at 4am
bringing my vibrator into the shower with me. if I don't text back in 30 minutes I have electrocuted myself and died.
May the force be with you.
Being single/not living at home sucks. All I want is someone I can force to pick up my pizza for me so I don't have to talk to anyone.
You know more about his cock specs than his childhood. Proud of you
these past three weeks have been a real "fuck you" to my liver
New life goal: Sex in a parking lot surrounded by a circle of fire.
Tomorrow's lesson plan is going to be on hangovers and why drinking during the week is never a good idea. I hope my boss approves.
Randomize
