Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
i wanted to sleep on a waterbed so i filled up my bathtub so i could fall asleep in it...
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
i'd be lying to you if i said i didn't just bring up microsoft excel to make an alcohol budget
I just found ouut you can get a DUI in a kayak. Fuck.
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
So I bought some random chick a shot she puked in her hands then I watched her make out with my roommate
damn. i can't believe how fast that went from 0 to lesbian
Just found a uh poem I wrote on ambien. It says to "cry your seamen filled tears" and "I hope you take a dagger to your vagina" and at the end it says "sincerely, God". What.the.fuck do they put in that pill?
I would have gladly let him decapitate me with the way he was biting on my neck.
MY roomie made me a chinese name- it's supposed to mean 'the girl of a thousand sins.'
Also, I found your gauge.
I found it under my pillow like a gift from the Sex Fairy.
Our music was glorious. Maidens were deflowered to the sound of my voice.
Right now I'm drinking out of a gallon water jug & eating a baconator. If you're feeling down, just remember you could be me.
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