Just woke up wearing a top hat and simpsons boxers. i also found more money in my wallet then what i had before going out, about $1000 more
two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
I just found 17 dollars of saltine crackers in my room. confused incredibly. suprised not at all.
dude she was so drunk she thought Jim Joyce made the right call
The vomit I understand but how is there seaweed in my bed?
It made me think of you cause he just screamed "CAPTAIN PLANET" a lot and kicked people in the balls.
Stayed out til 7 am.... Did u know there's a guy who goes up and down the quad at that hour playing bagpipes?
Can't wait to bequeath this flannel to my grandchildren someday.
'I've been using this to pick up lesbians since before you were born!'
I'm sorry, the person you're trying to reach is WAYYY too high to deal with this right now.
That amount of times your family has seen my boobs is getting ridiculous.
According to timehop today marks the 3rd anniversary of my 1st blackout
Dicks are not precious.
A real best friend would support the hoe in me. Not remind me of what happened the last time I slept with a boss
It's taking all of my will power not to chug this margarita. This must be the life of an adult...
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