turns out making maccaroni and cheese with whipped cream instead of butter is only good when your high
Do you understand how much easier life would be if fannypacks were normal
I promise you I could read that dogs mind, he was arguing with the other dog saying he knows how fucked up I am
Okay I woke up in my room, snuggie on, had a water bottle in my hand my tv was on Disney channel and my cigarettes are gone. And I deleted every text in my phone but one that said 'you are absolutely welcome'
i just kept saying he was red & i was blue and we couldnt become purple. I started crying at one point
i ordered a pipe on amazon, and under recommended items, it gave me a top hat. it knows me better than my parents.
its warm now so i can go back to sleeping with guys based on their fuckability rather than how much warmth they generate.
Well I'm drunk and covered in baby oil so tonights not ideal
She said I'm so hungry I could eat a dick and winked at me
This Pinterest wedding planning is a good distraction. I'm great at this, my imaginary wedding is beautiful
We christened the whole apartment and fucked on the balcony. It was amazing. I'm 100% sure downtown heard me climax. Now we can unpack.
Oh, and let me go get some popcorn, watching you make your own decisions should be quite the shitshow.
Banged former boss. Adulthood achievement unlocked.
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
She and I had some intense sexual tension earlier when she dumped a package of apple straws all over my body.
Randomize
