Just saw a man jogging. For recreation. At 3am. Who's he training to be, batman?
At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
sometimes you just have to masturbate at your friend's house.
just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
Thats my favorite, when ex girlfriends become XL ex girlfriends
Apparently I blacked out and pissed all over the sliding glass door from the inside, as everyone watched from the outside helplessly....
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
He told me to come in and have some water before I drove home, my vagina didn't stand a chance escaping. We didn't even make it to the kitchen.
Me and a 30 year old man are sitting in my bathtub in swimsuits drinking straight rum from the bottle. Don't tell me how fucked up your Christmas is.
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
He's like... An octopus that touches my vagina in all these diff ways at the right times. It's almost unsettling
The man was doing everything in his power to get away from his wife, including go into the gay club.
Sincerely. Thanks. You could have thought of anyone sitting on your face but you chose me. :)
My roommate taped his phone to the ceiling fan to simulate walking so he could hatch Pokémon. Lazy people will always find a way.
Randomize
