Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
All i've done since I got back to my room today is take a three hour nap. Like, I even planned to change my pants and haven't even done that yet.
Our kitchen sink faucet is leaking, so I set a pitcher under it to catch water for Kool-Aid tomorrow rather than turn on the faucet. The environment owes me.
Pretty much gone. He was in the backseat and kept whispering that his "toes felt like pigtails"
all I heard when I woke up this morning was "BONG HITS FOR BREAKFAST" being yelled repeatedly.
My head. My head is the problem. Also alcoholism.
idk but i can hear her singing "Call Me Maybe" really slowly and emotionally in the shower right now
Our apt smells like hot shit marinated in oregano and cumin. No more taco truck dinner, fuck face. The wall paper is peeling.
Snow days are when you really appreciate that your neighbor is on your bang roster.
You know you're high when, "Why can't I steal the duck?!" Becomes a serious question.
I'm about to play another round of who's panties are in my car.
Of all of my friend's husbands, I like when yours hits on me best
Awe that means so much to us
He licked the buffalo sauce off my fingers and then we had the best sex of my life.
I hate when I'm sexting and I make a typo.
You just killed the sext mood.
You peed on a flamingo?!?
Randomize
