yeah i like to chase my xanax with prozac and then viagra. you're up...and then you're UP
i love beer. I convinced myself that I'm going to ace the exam tomorrow. I can't even do that when I actually study.
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
I have a feeling that watching gay porn with you was the reason I was dancing in a hurricane of floating dicks in my dream last night.
I'd like to be considered more than just his fuck buddy thanks. IVE BEEN RISKING PREGNANCY FOR SEVEN GODDAMN MONTHS I DESERVE THE TITLE OF GIRLFRIEND
Idk. Im in a bed. the walls are wood. There's a deer mount.. im afraid to turn over and see who's next to me but he's violently cuddly.
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
We were high as balls fucking in the back seat when we saw the blue lights. He's like, "I got this" and walked over butt ass naked and goes, "Sorry dude, we're just banging" and the cop apologized for disturbing us and drove off.
There were 7 of us cowering in the kitchen because you were swinging a giant, pink double headed dildo around like a nunchuk and hitting anyone who came near you with it.
I really don't want to get drunk alone tonight. Like, I'll do it, but I won't enjoy it.
I'm pretty sure ignoring the person that just sent you a picture of their boobs is bad nude etiquette.
"suitors" is just a nice way of her saying "the guys i'm fucking"
I am eating croutons on my bathroom floor. Are you happy?!
I’m going to give his broken heart CPR with my vagina
Randomize
