drank two beers while on the toilet at home during lunch break. new high or new low, not sure
But sometimes ur dick treats me better than u do
hey, i'm all for honesty but let's not get carried away
you were passed out in your cheese fries by the time he brought out your second order of french toast.
seriously who else gets carried home puking from a fucking mary kay party?
Nothing kills the mood when I am hooking up on the dance floor like the DJ saying Happy Valentines.
Passed out in a rocking chair on her porch. Woke up to the tow truck taking away my car.
Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
My cab driver just started a conversation with "Three years ago I pleaded guilty..." Check on me later tonight please.
Everyone was passed out so I turned off the lights and locked all the doors. I also took the chicken sandwich in the microwave as payment.
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
He slapped my ass... He best ask me out. Or figure out how to unslap my ass.
Did you ever think you lost your bong and then you find it in the weirdest place? I mean, who leaves their bong in the shower?
Did this whole conversation happen while you were shitting?
Tonight I researched being a phone sex operator and teaching English at a French school in Africa. I think my future lacks direction
Randomize
