My boobs aren't big enough for this kind of lifestyle
would you object to me following you around all the time with a video camera and selling it to TV? Your life could make me millions.
So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
Dry humping a girl for an hour and then jizzing in your pants doesn't count as losing it.
My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
Dude stop singing. Your life is not an episode of fucking glee
I just realized that I'm gonna have to lower my standards if I want random head.
he's wearing our apron and eating a pb and oreo sandwich. and calling the oreos "topless" since he took their tops off...
did i call you last night crying about tacos and the royal wedding again?
I feel like someone kicked me repeatedly in the ribs. I don't think sex is supposed to do that.
My taste buds are fucked up, everything tastes like fire after last night.
You should have heard my farts after he left. I swear one of them was a demonic voice saying, "It's coming for you, Nicole. It's coming,".
If you were more comfortable around gay men, then you too could get wasted at the gay dance club and go home with hot girls.
Thanks for the Beyonce article. In other news, I just passed a man with the state of Florida tattooed on his face.
You woke up, looked straight at me and screamed "fuck barbara streisand!" and passed out again
Randomize
