In similar news, my cock is bigger than the plane that landed in the hudson.
let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
if i wake up one more time on my porch im gonna start considering myself homeless
found your viking helmet in the parking lot this morning, its missing a horn. There was still liquor in the remaining horn. shots from a viking helmet should be mandatory.
Sorry for making you give strangers a ride for hits of acid.
Dude I'm looking through my old high school year book and I circled every girl I fucked.. what was wrong with me.
I'm having horrible flashbacks of being groped by Pauly Shore.
That's not a good night. A good night is waking up with no skirt, no money, and the imprint of the edge of the bar on your forehead.
Careful, it's a slippery slope to discovering you're bisexual...trust me.
So some drunk guy just tried to convince me with all of his passion that bacon is a color
So please don't worry, but I need some help getting blood out of my drywall so I can get my security deposit back. I would not ask if the need was not great.
Despite breaking my phone, thumb, and my dignity, last night was pretty good.
Well, he kept asking me if I was going to murder him once we got upstairs. It sort of killed the mood.
I have serious attachment issues. I just realized how long its been since ive smoked out of my bong and I feel guilty for dis owning it this week
Randomize
