Is it a little weird that I have a ridiculous urge to have sex while the theme song to the Pirates of the Carrbibbean blares in the background?
he just had his sister send me a message about how he's not a creeper
Was his mother too busy breastfeeding him to do it?
He said "I know I'm not gay. I fucked a guy once and didn't like it"
Saying he's good in bed would be like saying Soulja Boy is a good rapper, completely unlogical if you've heard him.
I just woke up with a bunch of French fries in my hand and a chocolate shake balancing on my pillow. Lovely.
I feel like i could break down a fucking wall with this boner
Soooo, coming over soon?
Meeting girls and telling em you have no hair on your calves is not an acceptable pick up line
Congratulations on your lack of fetus.
i went out at 5pm and cant remember anything until 3am...i was at the bus stop parking lot running around doing the Arrested Development chicken calls.
Couldn't finish, so she gave me "the tap," and I had to leave the mound early. Nothing worse than the long walk back after the manager comes out and asks for the ball.
I was going to learn how to knit but I got high instead.
Oh man I wish I could've gotten a picture of how many anti-circumcision stickers are on this Prius
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
Pretty sure I got at least one girl to question her sexuality at the Christmas party last night
A bitchslap is in order.
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