Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
Um, yeah. You lit my birthday candles with a joint. Mom= not happy.
Doing lines and watching a show on hot dogs around the world ... Why do I do this to myself
I feel like a fucking princess. Like an heiress of a kingdom of drugs.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to concentrate on legal issues with the ghost of his giant penis in me?
Remind me to switch to jello when you decide to do shots off my ass. It's so much easier to clean than this pudding.
Well at least you learned that cops don't like when you call them frenchy. Nice dive over the fence by the way.
I walked in her room to find her rubbing lotion on her face high as fuck.
Love you too. There are very few people I let pee in my dishwasher.
There can only be one screw up per family and I was here first. Get your shit together bro
I woke up with Pop Rocks stuck to my ass
Did you just email Kelly and I gay dinosaur erotica?
Just spilled beer all over my bed. Should cut myself off, but instead I just took my shirt off and used it as a towel.
we've talked on the toilet we're linked now
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