So guy #2, the dancer, is programmed into my phone under the name H.uy. His number- 11 digits. I should have stopped drinking.
my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
Maybe someone other than the mad hatter should have gone with him to the ER
mallory made a planned parenthood decision maker flow chart again.
You're just mad that I don't wanna have dugout sex with you
Just realized that St. Patty's is on a Saturday this year in case you were interested in coming to New York and redefining bender with me.
I feel like I was eaten by a coyote, then shit over a cliff...
He refused to pierce my nipples, saying they are the best he's ever seen and that blemishing them would be a crime
Got drunkdialed by my estranged mom while wallowing in pinkeye drinking 100 proof eating ramen alone. Year summed up perfectly.
Neighbour is sobbing. Difficult to masturbate.
your mom was just petting me...I am strangely comfortable with it
She kept telling me that it pissed her off that i expect people to make out with me...then she made out with me. Win?
You ate all the burritos in sight....I cant take you to mexican restaurants anymore
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
Randomize
