butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
I won a flip cup tournbment! Why is boot and rally so hard when youre old?
During sex she told me I could do anything I wanted to her. You remember that toy lightsaber we bought at Wal Mart?
i dont know if you remember blowing your vomity nose directly into my hand...yeah thanks for that
You insisted on drinking champagne out of the dog bowl
im failing my bio class b/c he booty calls me wednesday nights at 6 like clockwork
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
true friends will drive 3 hours to come smoke a couple blunts with you on the bridge where your car broke down
Anxiously awaiting my period drinking Hershey's syrup from the bottle. Don't judge me
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
Come over so we can have two person sex in this one person tent
What do you take me for? I'm not trying to lure you into bed with stories of my dead aunt.
My car insurance payment showed up today, so no inflatable hot tub for now. Sorry to disappoint.
I fucked a marine... I told him it was like personal revenge and he said he could live with that and that he didn't mind being used.
Also epiphany: I gotta quit fucking with dudes that have never seen Harry Potter. They all turn out to be shitheads who probably eat honeydew.
Randomize
