Apparently oprah and I were in competition to see who's ass could get bigger this summer
Only girl at that party wearing a fake beard and I STILL get laid...
I wonder who the first pervert was, and if he would be proud of me for advancing his art form by so much
I swear my cock is like a magnet to my friends younger sisters mouths.
Im sitting alone watching titanic. Drunk. Without pants. Holding a fishing pole. Im pretty sure im okay with all of this.
I'm stoned entirely off resin. Licking my blankets. Merry Christmas. Jesus died for our sins. Yay Jesus. I love you.
She told me she loves her boyfreind while she was giving me head. He must be a nice guy
I didn't know he had a girlfriend until after we had sex when he said, "Man I really gotta stop cheating on my girlfriend."
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
I gave him head during Pitch Perfect 2, I felt like the Bella's were cheering me on with their back up tunes
Where does dick fit into Maslow's hierarchy of needs?
his mom fetish really needs to stop. this is literally the 5th time i've come home from work and there's been some random skank and her kids in the living room.
did one of the kids use their poo like a crayon on the wall this time?
I haven’t sent any nudes yet in 2018.
That’s not true...is it?
Kinda thinking about going to my moms wedding high
Randomize
