i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
I think the best way to start out any day is to watch 80's music videos. It's like visual wheaties.
Just wondering why in an apartment full of stoners there is half a waffle in the TRASH CAN. get ur shit together man
either she doesn't know how to dress properly on a sunday morning stroll, or I just saw a 60 year old on a walk of shame
You were running around with scissors offering people free haircuts.
He came in like 30 seconds. That's how I know he hasn't been cheating on me while I've been gone
they would be such cute babies and they would grow up to have huge dicks. and that would make me proud as a mother
you kept introducing yourself to guys as "never going to happen"
drinking from the bathtub cause I'm too lazy to walk downstairs and too thirsty to care
I think i'm going to homewreck at this Disney on Ice show.
I'm permanently fucked. Every liquid I put into my mouth automatically tastes like fireball.
He said his parents were apparently coming over to surprise him with breakfast and I’ve never gotten dressed and run out of the door that quickly. I have commitment issues.
So I slept with some guy last night and when I woke up in the am couldnt remember his name. I text him n asked "How do you spell your name?" to try n find out and all he replied was "With an A." WTF!?
Just got high with dad
Correction: more high. He's sharing gummy bears with me.
Randomize
