a guy in a toll booth on I-90 told me to fuck off for not being a red sox fan. i am going to miss massachusetts very much.
you looked at me, pointed to a car and silently said "the elephant parks here".
Oh please tell me that I'm sleeping in your shower and not the neighbor's again
He answered his phone while he was eating me out and proceeded to yell at his wife for interrupting lunch...impressed or rock bottom?
This football player keeps talking about his drunk dad. I think he may start crying. Does this deserve a roll tide?
Baked and hanging out with Al from Home Improvement's son. You can't make this shit up. Tuh-rippin balls
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
I remember caressing his hands asking him if he moisturized, then i proceeded to put his hands on my face
HE'S LIKE A GREEK GOD BUT HE'S FROM BOSTON. HE'S A BOSTON GOD
pray to him
I WANNA PRAY ON HIS DICK
Gotta wait until my full time offer is confirmed before I try to fuck the mid level manager
You would critique a dick pic. Damn art people.
well, you know. whores of a feather.
YOLO is a great motto until you end up with Chlamydia
I threw up in 4 different Starbucks across the city before 9 am.
“On a break” is implied when it’s a Russian chick dressed as Black Widow wearing Minnie Mouse ears
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