I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
So I've decided that when I turn 50 and have to have a colonoscopy I'm going to leave a surprise for the doctor to find.
one should ask oneself what kind of lifestyle one is leading when one finds a handprint of semen on their pillow the next day.
the party we crashed was not a party. the party we crashed was jens grandads funeral.
she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
I'm sorry you couldn't sneak away today. You're the only guy I'm fucking that I can talk with about the other guys I'm fucking, and I need some advice
He was handing out home-made business cards that read "finger slamming bitches since 1986"\n
I gave up on alcohol forever for like 2 hours, that's got to be a new record
I am the prescription. I can be taken orally or vaginally and in any dosage. This is why I went to med school.
He started screaming when he saw my dog. He thought it was a polar bear
Dude a gay guy just Sparta kicked this Samoan guy for calling him a flamer you need to get down here the free kamakazee shots haven't even started yet
We need to make tonight low-budget
Is this your way of suggesting flasks?
I left her alone for a few minutes and she's already using a guy on his hands and knees as a chair while another guy is serving her margaritas.
I feel like my foot is being amputated. Or maybe it's the vodka. I couldn't tell you.
Her blowjob technique? Picture someone attempting to drink a triple thick milkshake through a Capri Sun straw.
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