i'm surrounded by gay midgets. not sure if i'm bragging or asking you to come rescue me. wait for follow up.
I'm watching Intervention to get pumped up for tonight
he wanted me to put the condom on for him. I was high and couldn't figure it out.. so instead we played xbox.
Her friend drew me a diagram of how we could get away with her giving me a blowjob at work.
She sent me a pic of shot glasses on fire if that tells you anything
friends don't put videos of other friends on youtube puking on their professor on the first day
rumor has it I kept asking you to go to the "tall grass" with me...sorry about that.
Managed to get through family dinner without anyone knowing I was tripping balls. Christmas miracle. He exists.
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
My phone just autocorrected 'vagina' to 'vaginihilation'...when exactly did I need to convey total annihilation by lady parts??
I did however clean up the cupcakes and vomit so I'm not that bad of a roommate
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
I had sex with two guys in one day. One on my grandma's couch, one on a golf course. This is the greatest post-surgery accomplishment I could ask for.
so apparently over the course of the night my roommate and i had sex in exactly the same spot. ps the downstairs sink needs cleaning.
I'm fucking camped out by the bathrooms. I think the poopatrator is in there. Wtf is my life
Almost an end to the saga.
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