the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
she spent the whole night flailing her arms because "primates are the only species who can move their arms like that and we shouldn't waste it"
Please tell me you saw the asian lady with the medical mask on cutting her lawn with scissors.
My male hookup buddy is gonna meet my female hookup buddy, let the awkward hookup games begin!
i noticed he has a cardboard window on his car and he told me he locked his keys in his car and had to break in...this only makes him more appealing
Dude, you face planted, there was no "bar fight".
I gotta figure out which 7 tampons in the box contains the drugs
He asked if I had feelings for him while I was lying naked on the floor vomiting into a trashcan as he held my hair and fed me Pringles.
i know i saw many looks of jealousy when i walked solo into subway carrying a cheesy gordida crunch after taco bell closing hours
I'm sure for most of the people, it was the one and only miracle they will see
there's an entire drinking game devoted to nobody liking her face
Where were you last night, and why am I not surprised that drag queens were involved?
I just bought a bong from a hot dog stand.
I have work in an hour and I'm having trouble with concepts such as 'staying upright' and 'staying conscious'. Tie me to your wrist next time we go out drinking,
I was playing 'If You Had To Fuck One or Die' with the old composite pictures with a guy in the bathroom line. They were all pretty ugly so I go "You can tell this is a lower tier frat"......turns out the guy was a brother
Ahhh, beer. My second favorite breakfast drink.
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