So. Did i wake up at 430, try to drive home, stop to throw up at a shell, and try to clean out my car and drop my keys in a full dumpster? Yes.
He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
you know its bad when everytime i put on a shirt i think of who i hooked up with in it
my momz letting me make the christmas card in photoshop
so that means christmas in space?
imma make our dead cats ghosts like obi wan kenobi
He had a 99.9% chance of getting laid...until he started cutting down the frat's volleyball nets with his pocket knife.
OH YEAH AND FORGOT TO THANK YOU FOR THE lack of WARNING THAT HE WASN'T CIRCUMSIZED.
I need to stop going to bars and yelling "I could be teaching your kids one day, bitches!"
Just woke up in his bed wearing only his shoes. I don't know how to gently say hey dude get the fuck up and take me home....regardless these are some nice shoes.
Had sex with one of the guys from Ireland. Celebrating st pattys early.
he woke me up with all the stuff I had at his house in boxes i had to unwrap my own belongings and he said. Happy v-day its time to see ya day! Worst day ever
Homophobes nationwide are huddled in their bunkers tonight and I can't stop giggling. Could be the wine.
I wish I may, I wish I might, get some daddy dick tonight
I woke up to him crying and pouring pixy stix in my mouth saying they would bring me back to life.
Just letting you know that while you peed your pants in that guys jeep, The orgasm I had made my hair fall out... Good morning.
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
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