can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
Am I allowed to make my facebook status "loves farting in chairs"? I think it would shock every boy that I am friends with.
Flying to Orlando on the 7th is cheaper than the 8th by like three margaritas.
the biggest problem in our relationship is that im team edward and my boyfriend is team jacob
we hate each other therefore the sex is mindblowing
for breakfast I had vodka and flavor blasted goldfish. and I'm topless.
And I was slip and sliding my life away on a giant tarp with tons of soap and bitches. Priorities man, priorities.
yeah people on the adjacent balcony, Im naked drinking outside in 0 degree weather at 1pm. got a problem?
After giving a back rub to someone in the bathroom of the theater, he ripped an "employees must wash hands" sign off the wall to prove that he could and proceeded to hang it up in his house.
I think it would be reallllly cool if you took your best friend to work so she doesnt have to have an awkward cab ride with the driver she drunkenly made out with last night ...
Are you ok?
They gave me a cat until I fall asleep. His name is fluffy because he's fluffy.
Her four year old daughter walked up to me grabbed my junk and said "this will be in mommy later." Wtf?
I'm shotgunning a meatball sub and watching flip or flop. i have reached a new level of singledom.
Did you smoke and go to the aquarium again?
Randomize
