Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
How do I put "special brownies" into Weight Watchers?
Your dad needs a mid life crisis affair thing, I could totally be that girl.
i draw the line when you ask for directions at a place you're already at.
So apparently the bar gave out free condoms, which I now have a pocket full of. Why is drunk me shoving the fact that I'm single and not getting laid in sober me's face...
You fell out of your barstool, I tried to help you but you said if I got any closer I'd be drinking my meals through a straw, So there you sat.
I rolled out of the car, crawled on all fours to the door, did somersaults all the way to my room, and then I ran across the parking lot to tell our neighbor you wanted to bang him. I'm not even sure if it was the right guy.
There is a 5-year old here fighting 'drunk monkeys'. He tried to knock a drink out of my hand with a plastic light saber...
Apparently I was proudly showing him the cup I barfed pizza rolls into
Saw a girl lying on her back next to a fire hydrant. Not sure if passed out drunk or sleeping under the stars
wait nvm its a dude
If we all have the time, and the weather permits, and you have no plans, we should have another go at Operation Get Our Carless Friends Laid. All the lonely people will be out. We can take our lonely people out too.
I woke up naked with a Jason mask on and a fat lip. What happened last night?
Is it weird that I'm smoking a cig on my back patio in a sports bra and underwear?
I still don’t believe you, the dog DID NOT tear down the shower curtain and shit on the floor.. we found you in the fetal position in the bathroom holding your tequila gun. It was you!
Randomize
