sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
Lesson 1: you can't keep macking on a girl if you get handcuffed
'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
strike ten. I need to stop drinkng
I forgot to mention I threw up in my wine glass AND my neighbors empty cup.
The sales associate looked at me funny for wobbling in the heels i was trying on until i told her i was trying to see how well i'd be able to drunk walk in these tonight
and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.
It's really not cool dreaming about going into labor with your ex boyfriends love child as you're sleeping next to him.
You have to summon your inner elephant
I'm going to fix your towel rack. I broke it while I was dancing on it.
He said my vagina is harder to escape than the Temple of Doom.
He had a small dick anyway. I'm glad I barfed on it.
Our sex from this weekend should be engraved into a plaque or commemorated somehow. It was fucking amazing.
I just talked comic books with a cop. We high-fived as he was running my name.
Proud of you.
We discussed the legality of being a vigilante. I won.
Is that your Nuva ring on the floor? Shit must have gotten crazy
Randomize
