Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
oh my god. my mom just found my pipe. she thought it was a dildo.
like i said, there should be a sitcom about your family.
When you gave the girl your number the fat girl was like "take mine....here please take mine"
We made the bar tender tell us how he proposed to his girlfriend. In detail. While we made gushing noises. We are embarrassments to females everywhere
Everything tastes like Lysol. Am I dying?
you called your neighbor "slutsauce" then passed out on the stairway. not even sure why, but props to you.
My fall semester strategy is to submit my papers with a nude selfie
You've got post-grad studies written all over you
Sometimes the gods of alcohol choose to take you on a mysterious journey and you just have to go with it
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
HOLY FUCK I almost floated out of the city. Thank god my dog kept me down.
No matter how many miles separate us, I will always be here to get you through whiskey shots.
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
I'm gonna cum garlic butter
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
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