saw "Pah-jure" lube. Thought of you. Wearing the same clothes to work tomorrow.
I stayed in, ate a pint of Hagen daas and watched a movie about aids. Soooooooo single.
If I had known I was gonna take my tights off and throw them over the balcony I would have shaved my legs.
My god. We'll be gay porn millionaires.
I'll see ya tonight at your house...and I'm bringing you a special treat that starts with a V and ends with us eventually going to rehab one day.
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.
I was in the bathroom puking up mountains of tequila and when he came to help me, I held the door shut and kept yelling at him to let me be a lady.
He sent me a picture of his dick earlier so now we can all laugh at him tomorrow
We found her on the doorstep. Just layin down going, "I made it home!! Aren't you proud??!"
Just got kicked out of two hot tubs. We were naked the second time. So awkward getting out in front of the security guard.
Lube filled water balloons always make for a good time
We fucked so hard that when I orgasmed I tore his towel rack off the wall. He was more impressed than mad.
I used to think not drinking while I was pregnant was not gonna be a problem, but I now I'm like shit that's a long time
She's licking the vodka she spilled off the desk
Aaaaand now she's drinking it out of the shot glass like a cat
Met a beautiful Irishman two nights in a row. I may never come back.
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