Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
I can make a handprint turkey for extra credit in history. I feel like the word college should be in quotes on the school letterhead.
I am one bad relationship away from having 30 cats.
ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
I just deleted all the drug dealers from my phone, I guess this is growing up
she demanded that I make her breakfast too so im in the bathroom cooking bacon with her straightener
My mom legitimately hired a private eye on me. DO YOU KNOW HOW EXCITING MY LIFE JUST GOT???
are you putting in a lot of effort today like appearance wise
I am taking my rightful place as emperor of the undead appearance wise
I was so horny last night, I failed to let him know about my current bed bug infestation.
It was a frighteningly large penis to say the least
All she said to me before going to get another shot was "Damn, I'd eat her out."
I just saw elmo dancing with gumby. The bars at 7a.m. are AWESOME.
she brought her phone charger to the bar this bitch is ready to drink
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
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