Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
there was a 40 knocked over. chips and salsa all over the floor. and she was in her thong doing boot camp on demand in the middle of the room..
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
Wash that dress asap. You laid down on the kitchen floor and tried to sweep the floor with your body.
Him cheating on his girlfriend resulted in a $1500 hospital bill from repeated blows to his testicles by my ass. They diagnosed his pain as "testicle trauma". Sex karma at it's finest.
Sorry, all I could picture was you jamming your dick into a lemon.
I love how my phone automatically capitalizes Margarita. R-e-s-p-e-c-t.
I need something for rope burns and an inner ear infection. Separate incidents, FYI..
dude, i just accidentally flashed your mom. BIG TIME.
Sigh. I'll find the right guy one day.
Prince charming is right around the corner and will be freaky as shit!
sorry I blacked out our whole relationship
*6am blends another margarita* *615am blends straight tequila*
just saw those girls we met the other night. i happen to be wearing a bunny suit and driving your smart car. i think its safe to say thats a no go situation.
Just found $31 in my desk drawer. In $1's. WTF happened last night?!
Randomize
