Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
I woke up this morning and "The Wood" was on tv. Touche TBS, touche.
We gave a starfish gin and Lucky Charms. I think it enjoyed it. Best trip to the beach ever.
You were doing downward dog and puking off my deck at the same time.
Can we please not be like these pathetic people in their thirties who only get drunk when they go see Sherrill Crow?
If someone would have told me in preschool that I was going to do him I would have said no
You used the best tools you had at your disposal.
Slutty, slutty tools.
I have a callous on the palm of my hand just below my ring finger that is entirely from opening so many beer bottles. I'm strangely proud right now.
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
There are Vine videos that have lasted longer than he did
I feel like the universe head butted me in my balls. That hungover.
.... My lady balls. Cuz I'm a lady.
I am the worst person to have nipple rings I'm hanging ornaments off of then and sending everyone a tits the season to be jolly
we had to take 10 shots sometime before midnight, then 11 shots between midnight and 1. so yes its gonna be a rough day.
His dog hid my thong. Let me tell you, the last thing you want during a commando mini skirt walk of shame is lots of wind. There’s a church congregation that knows all my business
Can I borrow a thong? I’m having drinks with a cute boy tonight and I’m out of clean underwear
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